What is the big deal with legalizing same-sex marriage? As Latter-day Saints, do we blow out of proportion the redefining of marriage? Why or why not?

Here are some of my thoughts on same sex marriage.

    The family is essential to Gods plan of salvation. Without a marriage between a man and a woman, eternal progression to the highest glory is unattainable. It is written in The Family: A Proclamation to the World that marriage is between a man and a woman. It is important there for as we understand this that we defend our beliefs, even when it is so unpopular. It is that important to us. We see many prophets of old doing the same thing. For some this reason is enough.

    But often we need to see why Heavenly Father has said we should not do things. Just like the word of wisdom coming at a time when people thought it strange and unnecessary, we later see the benefits of following the prophet. I believe that we will see many social and personal reasons why same sex marriage is harmful to our society. It means that many children will grow up without their fathers, or mothers in the home. It has been well studied that children thrive best in a family with one father and one mother. We should be fighting for our children. If we continually put our adult desires before our children, we will raise an unstable generation that has gone through unnecessary pains as a child. It is a sad time we live in when our children are so low on the list of priorities.

I found several quotes in Obergefell v. Hodges (2015) ( the ruling that made it legal in each state to have same sex marriages.) that really stood out to me and I would like to share them with you. They really shapes some of my thoughts above.

1. “licensing same-sex marriage severs the connection between natural procreation and marriage.” (p. 26)   I think that severing the connection between natural procreation and marriage shocking to me. We are married to procreate and this separation would be the start of many pains that we will feel in the future.
2. “Indeed, with respect to this asserted basis for excluding same-sex couples from the right to marry, it is appropriate to observe these cases involve only the rights of two consenting adults whose marriages would pose no risk of harm to themselves or third parties.” (p.27) I think it is abundantly clear that it does not involve only two adults, that any children that would be brought into this union would be most directly involved. It is selfish to think that this decision would affect no one but the two creating the union.
3. “Marriage did not come about as a result of a political movement, discovery, disease, war, religious doctrine,…..It arose in the nature of things to meet a vital need: ensuring that children are conceived by a mother and father committed to raising them in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship.” (Roberts, p.4-5) I believe that this is an accurate and important concept of marriage. Marriage was defined when Adam and Eve first came to this earth, and not because of a political movement or a changed law. This was an interesting thought as it is not our law we are trying to redefine but Gods law.
4. John Locke, who described marriage as “a voluntary compact between man and woman” centered on “its chief end, procreation” and the “nourishment and support” of children. (Roberts, p. 6)   It is stated several times throughout the dissent that marriage is for the support and nourishment of children. I found this to be very interesting as I think marriage is thought of today as a selfish thing, something for the benefit of the two getting married.
5. “Numerous amici-even some not supporting the States- have cautioned the Court that its decision here will “have unavoidable and wide ranging implications for religious liberty.”   It is concerning to me what happens now that same sex marriage is now legal regarding those who still believe in traditional marriage. Even in my own small world I have been called a bigot, a repressor, small minded, uneducated and many other things when I say I believe in a traditional marriage. It is possible that attacks on people and the churches that stand for traditional marriage will be attacked relentlessly.

I found at least 12 other quotes that I found to be extremely interesting. But I think it really comes down to this. It is understood and a doctrinal part of our religion that marriage is between a man and a woman, and we must stand up for that. The hardest part is when our views will not be understood by those who we love, and often those who are in those relationships. It is a difficult cycle where both sides believe they are correct, and both sides feel that the others are unwilling to truly listen. It has to potential to tear apart families and societies. If nothing else Satan will be pleased at the discord between people.

Do you agree with me? Or do you have a different view than me? I would love to hear what your thoughts are.

References:

https://www.supremecourt.gov/opinions/14pdf/14-556_3204.pdf

"The Family: A Proclamation To The World". Lds.org. N.p., 2016. Web. 20 Sept. 2016.

Are there trends in Marriage? 

We see many trends in marriage? We have seen our parents and how they parented us, we see our neighbors and see how they react to each other. We see society and see how it effects us. Are we like our parents or society? Do we take what they have taught us and teach it to our children? Has your family followed a trend? Is that a good thing or bad?

 All of us have parents it is inevitable. In that we are all the same. What are different are our families. I feel quite safe in stating that my family is probably quite different than yours. For example in my family my Mom hated the word booger, along with other things. A fact that still makes me smile today. My parents passed a lot of beliefs and traditions down to me, for example, I tell my children about Santa just like my parents did, I discipline my children very similar to my parents, and I teach my children about money the same way my parents did. I wanted a big family, just like all my extended family. Did you know I have around 67 first cousins? A family reunion with just my grandparents down would consist of over 500 people. Another trend in my family is that most of us are active in the same church and we generally tend to have a long life span with 5 generations all living at the same time. 

There are other trends in marriage and families that may not be so fun however. Our families effect us and how we tend to live our own lives. Traditions, good and bad are passed down for generations.   Statistics in the National Marriage Project, show that some of these trends are Marriage trends, when we get married and to whom, Parenting Styles, Education, Divorce, Cohabitation before marriage, Abuse, Addictions, and so much more. Many of these trends are hurting our families as well as our societies in a big way. Statics show that children who live outside of a family of a married Mother and Father have higher rates of suicide, depression, anger and anxiety, or repeat grades among other things. ( Wilcox, p.13)   Discipline and care of the children are inconsistent and problematic in single parent homes, children have weaker emotional bonds and show behavior problems and aggression. ( Amato, p. 77) 50% of all first time marriages are likely to end in divorce. (Wilcox, p .1)  

Fortunately we can be the change of things in our own families. Calrfred Broderick says “A transitional character is one who, in a single generation, changes the entire course of a lineage. The changes might be for good or ill, but the most noteworthy examples are those individuals who grow up in an abusive, emotionally destructive environment and who somehow find a way to metabolize the poison and refuse to pass it on to their children.” ( for full quote see Broderick p. 18)

I personally have had the opportunity to know someone who is doing just that, breaking a chain of traditions she no longer wishes to carry on to her children. I find that kind of strength amazing and something to admire. Lets keep the good trends in our families and marriage that make us stronger, and lets overcome the rest.

  

References:

Amato, Paul R. "The Impact Of Family Formation Change On The Cognitive, Social, And Emotional, Well-Being Of The Next Generation". Byui.brightspace.com. N.p., 2016. Web. 21 Sept. 2016.

Broderick, C. (1992). Marriage and the Family. New Jersey: Prentice-Hall.

"The Family: A Proclamation To The World". Lds.org. N.p., 2016. Web. 20 Sept. 2016. https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng

Wilcox, William Bradford. The State Of Our Unions 2012. Charlottesville, VA: National Marriage Project, University of Virginia, 2012. Print.

Welcome to my blog about marriage and families!  I am excited that you are visiting!  Recently I have been learning about families, and Marriages. It’s so exciting and I love the information I have been learning.

I would love your feed back, what do YOU think about what I am posting?  Do you agree?  Disagree?  Why?






Image:http://lactobacto.com/2015/06/19/long-married-people-give-advice-on-love-and-marriage/

Just a bit about me.  My name is Bren, I have been happily married for 15 years.  My husband and I met at college.  However, I was just starting and he was just leaving to go back to OU in Oklahoma.  We did get a date in and that happened to be enough.  We have 3 wonderful kids and love the outdoors as a family.

I am studying to become a Marriage and Family Therapist and will finish my undergrad next year.  I then have plans to go on to get my Masters immediately and eventually a PHD in Child psychology.